Failure

I failed. There, I said it.


A few weeks ago I fired a load of ceramics that not only warped, but had glaze failures. I was, of course, disgusted. Weeks of hard work were destroyed. I looked up every reason that the failure could have occurred; too low of outdoor temperature (it was below 20 degrees), clay body failure (I used clay that had been sitting around forever), too fast, too slow, too something in the firing schedule. In the end, I suppose it was a combination of things, as is often the case when something goes awry. I had not had an entire load failure in all the years that I have fired ceramics. I dropped each piece on the concrete floor and broke each into bits.

 I had another load to fire, and more importantly, I had two large pieces of sculpture that I had worked on for a very long time. The work is still sitting on a table, waiting for me to lick my wounds, get off my butt, and try again.

Instead, I turned my attention back to my easel and started painting. Now, I seriously needed to do so, as painting is my primary medium. Still. It was a classic move - avoidance of conflict, confrontation, recognition of failure, and fear of recurrence.

Michael Jordan has remarked," I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

I have always believed that life experiences, good or bad, are teaching points. If we look at our successes and failures, we can learn so much about what works and what does not. Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work". Perhaps I believe in experiential learning because I have had so many losses in my life, failures of most every sort, and disappointment in myself and others. Regardless, I have found that if I think on what has happened, try to learn from it, and then move forward in a meaningful way, I can let go of the past events and live purposely in today.

So, when the time avails, I will fire again, and see what happens. I will experiment with other materials; challenge myself to try again and again. I may even take that bucket of broken bits and fashion them into mosaics on the sides of some pots and plant some flowers. Those bits just might see their way into something new and beautiful.

Here is hoping that you keep blooming, keep learning, and keep loving. Never, ever, give up.

Wishing you all that is good,

L